An Admonition to the Reluctant Clopper

By drawing out his fleshy tool,
He half-invites to be taken for a fool,
When reluctance fails to help him repent,
Nor escape from his practice of personal torment.
By crying loud for help to avoid this lewdness, [5]
He opts for the route of faithful shrewdness;
To give up clopping, he says with sincerity,
Would help return to a previous prosperity.
His life oft-regarded for such a precious thing,
Now amorously enslaved by the hopeless sting [10]
At the tip of his member when he surfs for smut,
And suffocates himself for sexual glut.
Resolutions on the cusp of every New Year
Fail to draw him from his state of despair:
(For there is nothing more attractive, [15]
Amorous or appealing,
Than tainting the innocent pony
With copious droves of semen).
Mature urges are appreciated only
When they distance themselves from the cartoon pony, [20]
And when animation substitutes natural desire,
A clopper is in a situation irrepressibly dire.
Once a week is considered enough,
But soon this becomes a social bluff;
For twice a day becomes the new regime [25]
(And not even three times will stem the stream).
But the clopper wishes for other mature forms:
A love of gore and breaking social norms,
But to engage with this, though his heart declines,
Only makes further complications in his mind. [30]
How can the murder of ponies be acceptable
To the clopper still clopping for his sexual thrill,
When, in his mind, other mature tags will suffice,
And that Rule 34 is the ultimate vice?
Interesting, then, that the clopper doesn't see, [35]
How Rule 34 makes aroused the pony,
While "Cupcakes" and "Rainbow Factory"
And other-such bane
Are murdering innocents and should be deemed insane.
To reject the thirty-fourth law most respective, [40]
Wherein a positive template is, at least, the objective,
--But to, at the same time, accept the grimdark,
Where the primary outcome is to deconstruct art--
Creates a timeless Catch-22
For which the best advice is to change one's world-view. [45]
So, clopper, the solution seems to be:
Either carry on clopping and swear sexual fealty;
Or, alternatively, have the balls to click away,
And stop wanking over ponies every single day.